| Favorite Subject: English
Life Goal: Three Pulitzer prizes
Favorite Food: Coffee and sandwich
Favorite Sport: Coaching
Interests: Journalism, History
Biggest Fear: None. I am the one
whom people fear.
|Quote: “Childhood is overrated.”
What are you most proud of: ‘I’m proud that my column “Teacher’s Union Card or Mental Disability Membership?” got our former science teacher Mr. Dibble fired; He was an idiot.’
|INTERVIEW with WINSLOW
TT: [Treewiddle Tribune] Firstly, can you tell us a bit about yourself?
WINSLOW: I’d rather not, but perhaps you might be interested in knowing how bored I am at this very moment?
TT: No thanks … Can you list two strengths and explain each one?
TT: You’re the Treewiddle Tribune’s Editor-in-Chief. Can you tell us why you applied for the most prestigious student job at Treewiddle Elementary?
TT: Can we stay on topic, please? You obviously have confidence in yourself but let’s try to be cordial. Ok? … What would you say is your favorite part of the job?
TT: um … actually — and I don’t mean to sound offensive — but it’s rumored that you are reclusive, passively aggressive, and difficult to work with when things don’t go your way.
TT: Thank you for making my point. Could you describe one time where you acted as a leader? … and for the record, I was not flirting with you.
TT: Did you win the election?
TT: In your opinion what makes a good teacher?
TT: Does the school give you too much homework? How much do you think they should give?
TT: Yes, I am aware you are bored. Thank you for informing me.
TT: May I continue?
TT: How do you feel about the environment? or endangered species?
TT: Yes. Interesting analogy, but how do you feel about Nature?
TT: They might be. Yes.
TT: What do you think about children smoking cigarettes, using alcohol or drugs?
TT: But don’t you put a cigar in your mouth while you work at the newsroom?
TT: Really? How old are you?
TT: Speaking of hate, I’ve been told you’re not a big fan of technology. Is it true you don’t use a computer; you use a typewriter and have someone scan your pages into the computer?
TT: Do you see yourself as a role model for other students?
TT: That concludes our interview, Winslow. We weren’t sure how this would go but we’re very happy you were able to take your time and join us today. I felt it went very well.